Copyright © 2006 Markee 2baad-sosaad. All rights reserved. No part of this work may be reproduced without the written permission of the author. (e-mail: phlyonzawahl@shaw.ca)
It wasn’t her choice.
Not by a long shot.
Standing before Master, yes, even with so great a distance separating them, she felt…what? Desire? Longing? The need for fulfillment that she wasn’t getting/couldn’t get in r/l?
No, it wasn’t that. Certainly, it wasn’t JUST that. Yes, particularly given the distance between them, she was fully capable of turning off, tuning out – even refusing the request of the man she had offered her subby self to. How would he even know?
He wouldn’t. Theirs was a relationship borne in cyberspace, and kept there, through distance and circumstance, if nothing else.
Thing is, if she disobeyed, SHE’D know. That in itself was enough to keep her on the straight and narrow. It seemed that more and more of her was becoming immersed in Him, and His requests.
How had she allowed things to go so far?
At this specific moment, what she felt was…fear. Fear of loss, without knowing what – if anything - she might gain.
She had her suspicions about Him. Not that she’d dare suggest as much, but she figured it was all about – usage. Usage, and abusage, if there were such a thing. That’s what it felt like, anyway. Maybe if she hadn’t told Him how uncomfortable this request made her, He wouldn’t have made it?
No, He’d asked before she’d revealed her comfort level. What made it all the more challenging was His increased insistence after He’d found out how much this troubled her.
The bastard. Had she really allowed herself to think that?
Yes, she did and she wasn’t ashamed, surprisingly happy that at least the emotions she felt were still free to course through her body and percolate her thoughts.
Just as well he couldn’t read her mind, however. Such a bundle of contradictions, is a woman!
When all was said and done, though, there she was, in all her ‘glory’ (*hah*!), reflecting back. With her reflection, staring back, all blemishes revealed – for Master. As the final wisps of steam from her shower finally dissipated, leaving her more exposed than ever.
Better get on with it.
Wiping clean the steam from the mirror, she picked up her digital camera from the vanity and focused.
First snap: truth, bared. No smile, with any emotion well hidden, even out of reach of internal probing.
Second: a smile, forced. Not that Master had asked, but she thought she should at least give it the old college try. She hated her smile, anyway, and this one was sure to be a winner.
Save, Send: ‘To Master, with devotion’. Didn’t even look at them before hitting the button.
No, it wasn’t her choice.
It never would be. She should be grateful for small mercies.
It wasn’t her choice.
Not by a long shot.
Standing before Master, yes, even with so great a distance separating them, she felt…what? Desire? Longing? The need for fulfillment that she wasn’t getting/couldn’t get in r/l?
No, it wasn’t that. Certainly, it wasn’t JUST that. Yes, particularly given the distance between them, she was fully capable of turning off, tuning out – even refusing the request of the man she had offered her subby self to. How would he even know?
He wouldn’t. Theirs was a relationship borne in cyberspace, and kept there, through distance and circumstance, if nothing else.
Thing is, if she disobeyed, SHE’D know. That in itself was enough to keep her on the straight and narrow. It seemed that more and more of her was becoming immersed in Him, and His requests.
How had she allowed things to go so far?
At this specific moment, what she felt was…fear. Fear of loss, without knowing what – if anything - she might gain.
She had her suspicions about Him. Not that she’d dare suggest as much, but she figured it was all about – usage. Usage, and abusage, if there were such a thing. That’s what it felt like, anyway. Maybe if she hadn’t told Him how uncomfortable this request made her, He wouldn’t have made it?
No, He’d asked before she’d revealed her comfort level. What made it all the more challenging was His increased insistence after He’d found out how much this troubled her.
The bastard. Had she really allowed herself to think that?
Yes, she did and she wasn’t ashamed, surprisingly happy that at least the emotions she felt were still free to course through her body and percolate her thoughts.
Just as well he couldn’t read her mind, however. Such a bundle of contradictions, is a woman!
When all was said and done, though, there she was, in all her ‘glory’ (*hah*!), reflecting back. With her reflection, staring back, all blemishes revealed – for Master. As the final wisps of steam from her shower finally dissipated, leaving her more exposed than ever.
Better get on with it.
Wiping clean the steam from the mirror, she picked up her digital camera from the vanity and focused.
First snap: truth, bared. No smile, with any emotion well hidden, even out of reach of internal probing.
Second: a smile, forced. Not that Master had asked, but she thought she should at least give it the old college try. She hated her smile, anyway, and this one was sure to be a winner.
Save, Send: ‘To Master, with devotion’. Didn’t even look at them before hitting the button.
No, it wasn’t her choice.
It never would be. She should be grateful for small mercies.
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